why do you always call when you are drunk?

 I am drunk and I make phone calls. Fact!

Why?

I am not a phone call person at all. This is true only when I am sober. When I'm drunk, I call my people. I become this phone call person all of a sudden. Why is that? Why is it that, it is then I feel like calling someone. I have always had enough talking for the night, for the day even, but it is then that I miss people.  Is it missing? Random people I have forgotten in my regular routine day have now sprung into memory. What is alcohol doing to me in this regard? Alcohol I know is an inhibition releaser. Does that mean I have been having inhibitions about calling people? This is indeed strange, coz I am not famous for inhibitions especially in the scope of talking. I am a blabber mouth.

I am not alone in this regard. How strange!

writing..

Isn't a book all about it's characters? I mean, is it not the characters that set the theme, the place, the script and even the direction it takes? The basic foundation of any book is it characters. Unless of course if it is a book without characters...but wait!, a book without characters? That doesn't seem possible. If you think about it, any temporal object, be it living or non-living is a prospective character in a book. And once mentioned it assumes the role of the character. Unless there is no development to this object and there are many such objects that just gets mentioned haphazardly, but then the narrator itself embody the character. There is probably no way out of it.

So a character to a book is ineluctable and hence it would seem that a good book is about good characters. 

Now what is a "good" character? The "good" here doesn't necessarily have to be a maxim of morality. Good only means 'interesting', 'captivating' or 'fascinating'. All the same. 

We now conclude that writing a book is all about finding character/s which one find interesting, in a world that is mysterious.

Now there is mystery?

... 

chicken and egg

..the classic causality dilemma.. which came first, the chicken or the egg?

The point of the question is not really to find a solution but to rather point to a situation. Even though we know this, we still seek an answer in our mind, as though we feel an answer may reveal a hidden secret or a deeper truth to the situation.

Science gives us the answer as egg. Look it up if you will. This is "science" of the 21st century that I am referring to, and I have to mention this, since science is of a nature that changes with time, and there lies its limitation. Well, one of its limitations. Limitations of science will be another post.

So which came first? Chicken or egg?

I say neither. They came together. Problem solved.

One cannot be without the other. So they were and are together. Always. And they will both perish together as well, along with the question and its answer. May be another question will take its place, the same question but only with a change in its form.

May be a different animal, a different object, any other two entities with circular dependency. Nail and hammer? No it has to be a natural entity, something not made by man, otherwise the dilemma would clear. Natural it has to be.

Night and day. Clouds and rivers. Male and female. Life and death.

Just like the circle never had a start or an end point.

They all came together.

free to go in?

A thousand years is but an instant. There’s nothing new, nothing different; same pattern over and over. The same clouds, same music, the same things I felt an hour or an eternity ago. There’s nothing here for me now, nothing at all. Now I remember, this happened to me before. This is why I left. You have begun to find your answers. Although it will seem difficult the rewards will be great. Exercise your human mind as fully as possible knowing that it is only an exercise. Build beautiful artifacts, solve problems, explore the secrets of the physical universe, savor the input from all the senses, filled with joy and sorrow and laughter, empathy, compassion, and tuck these emotional memories in your travel bag. I remember where I came from, and how I became human, why I hung around, and now my final departure’s scheduled: This way out, escaping velocity.  Not just eternity, but  Infinity.

..my gShock gls 100

This is my 3rd G-Shock and I think this watch is so awesome that I feel like wearing it all the time.. :P

..be...

...its only after we have lost everything
that we are free to do anything...

..we are who we are..

..we are who we are..I'm not just repeating myself, I'm also swanning in a fact..let me break it down a little..a happy person stays always happy..a miserable person always miserable..repressed stays repressed..suppressed stays suppressed..hopeful stays hopeful..naive stays naive..I could go on..but you get the idea..

..I'm not saying there aren't any life changing incidents..there are..I'm just saying that people doesn't change just because they might have started seeing things in a new different light..probably after this "life-changing-incident"..but a person changing, is a completely different thing, it's on an entirely desparate level altogether..they might have just realized something..discovered something..which makes more sense at that particular point of time..maybe until the next 'life-changing-incident'..all it does is to change their outlook..that's all..but does this really change them, fundamentally?..or is it just that, that we call change.. the happy would find another reason to be happy..the miserable would find another thing to be miserable about..

..the reason why we are like this is irrelevant..and the reason why you are a particular type of person right now is also irrelevant because this is 2011 and we still haven't invented the advent "Time-Machine"..we still haven't discovered the x-ray glasses that let's you see people naked for crying out loud..forget a Time-Machine..so we will continue to go with the "bury-the-past" construct..

..what's relevant is the question..what will happen, when that person realizes this?..will he change, when he realizes that the way he feel right now is completely his prerogative..that it was just a drawn-out but simple (only complicated looking) choice he made in his life somewhere in the past..and that he still and always had complete control over it..will he be able to let go of all the episodes and his interpretations of it?..this would probably change him..wait, i said probably..did I just realize that I am not just the happy but also the hopeful?..so is this one of those "life-changing-incidents"?..so anyways..I don't know about you, but what I have realized now is that, yes, people never change..we just discover new shades for ourselves..like attributes to the class..life is always about discoveries right..see, even life doesn't change :)

..now reading the crap i have just written made me realize that I am also the self-righteous narcissistic-ally zen-full types..hmm..too many discoveries for a write-up i say..and the most funny and also the most relevant thing is - even after we realize all this, we just don't wanna change..we are who we are..